Saturday, July 25, 2015

Coffee challenge

Not even tracking it as a daily cheevo now, im past the feeling of need u had and im now just missing it as a nice treat.
All these layers to peel through, and i truly wonder if its the same with anything.
And i really really wonder if its different if you percieve the challenge to quit as a hiatus. That instead of Im Done Here it is approached as only 3 more days i can have XX. It would have to be different.
Lasting just a bit longer is a different type of willpower than permanent refrain, or at least a different execution.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Lost Count

Missing coffee, dont mind though.

Interestingly i have become more aware of my actual sleep needs. I am also far more able to regulate my mood and attitude. I am curious to whether that is a consequence of coffee withdrawal or of a better sleeping.. thingie. Amount.

I have also begun to consider that sugar levels and sweet treats and whatnot might be causing my whole arvo zonk syndrome.

Rah blah...

This is me, waffling about food now i guess.

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Coffee 6. or seven or both sort of.

6 today, midnight is the 7 day marker.
Managed to avoid coffee at a kids birthday party yesterday. Mums with coffee wafting about and a barista right looking all hey have a coffee bro and i did not.

And then i was up until 1am again anyway.

Afternoons are pretty killer, i get the old nana nap kick and im just spent. I do wondet though how much that could be linked to diet, but i dont know.

I have always had it, prior to night shift any anything else i can think would encourage that kind of energy crisis.

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Coffee 5 i think?

I forgot again yesterday, now its very early tomorrow

At some point it was today.

Had some stuff on today. Big enough round trip plua two casually stressful appointments and a grumpy 6 year old in tow - normally bathing in coffee.

I wanted one, especially going past all the nice cafes and stuff while walking around.

And again with the Just Have One... no
Treat Yo Self.... no
And its ridiculous because i feel like a heroin addict.

But i guess its similar, sort of.
You develop a chemical.. dependency  is possible too strong a term.. lets say routine. And along with that comes the physical routine. And the daily rituals, the programming that this warm mug of goddess will just make you feel better, act better, think better, BE better.

Same thing basically.

Time for sleeps.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

None Coffee for 4

Feeling fine still.
I always hit this point where i miss coffee for the routine and the smell. Tea just isnt the same.
I actually enjoy coffee as its own beast, not just a caffeine hit.

Getting off to sleep was a challenge again. Wide awake for an hour. Work tonight as well so im interested to see how I fare.

Big day tomorrow as well. I know id have had a coffee to prepare for that, so thatll be an empty spot too.

Biggest issue at the moment is the stupid cold. Its colder than normal so all i want is a lovely beverage.

Coffee free day 03

I forgot to write earlier.

Fairly smooth sailing today. I made myself a bit crook with a flavoured milk but other  than then that im feeling pretty good. I did break and have two glasses of coke though so that's a bit of a cheat i guess.
I only had two teas though so i think thats fair.

I have noticed though that when its time to sleep at night im not tired at all. Night shift mode engage i guess, because i was laying in bed for at least an hour before j got bored and got up again. Took another 40 minutes to try again.

Im a little scared that without coffee to force myself into the pattern of the day i will remain terribly disjointed in my day to day dealings.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015


Day two

Last night was hard. Irritable, pacing the kichen knowing i had exactly what i felt like i needed right there. That the comfort of routine and what my neural receptors were craving was within 3 minutes worth of effort.
That this was silly, that there was nothing wrong with anything and i should just bloody have a coffee should i so desire one.

I think i had about 6 cups of tea.

Headache is much milder, and merely feels like im wearing a hat when a haircut has been too long due.

Other bodily concerns are harder to track;
I work nights. 8pm until 530am, 4 nights a week - 2 on 2 off 2 on 1 off.
Im basically running like a Typically Scheduled Person's 3am at any given time of day. Its a hard way to operate. Consequently its hard to work out what is out of whack and tired from day to day what have yous and what is the missing kick of coffee.

I already miss the kick.. but its not even a kick when you rely on it. i want the peaks and troughs out so i can regulate my own moods and energy.

Time for a tea i think.