Coffee challenge

Not even tracking it as a daily cheevo now, im past the feeling of need u had and im now just missing it as a nice treat.
All these layers to peel through, and i truly wonder if its the same with anything.
And i really really wonder if its different if you percieve the challenge to quit as a hiatus. That instead of Im Done Here it is approached as only 3 more days i can have XX. It would have to be different.
Lasting just a bit longer is a different type of willpower than permanent refrain, or at least a different execution.

Lost Count

Missing coffee, dont mind though.

Interestingly i have become more aware of my actual sleep needs. I am also far more able to regulate my mood and attitude. I am curious to whether that is a consequence of coffee withdrawal or of a better sleeping.. thingie. Amount.

I have also begun to consider that sugar levels and sweet treats and whatnot might be causing my whole arvo zonk syndrome.

Rah blah...

This is me, waffling about food now i guess.

Coffee 6. or seven or both sort of.

6 today, midnight is the 7 day marker.
Managed to avoid coffee at a kids birthday party yesterday. Mums with coffee wafting about and a barista right looking all hey have a coffee bro and i did not.

And then i was up until 1am again anyway.

Afternoons are pretty killer, i get the old nana nap kick and im just spent. I do wondet though how much that could be linked to diet, but i dont know.

I have always had it, prior to night shift any anything else i can think would encourage that kind of energy crisis.

Coffee 5 i think?

I forgot again yesterday, now its very early tomorrow

At some point it was today.

Had some stuff on today. Big enough round trip plua two casually stressful appointments and a grumpy 6 year old in tow - normally bathing in coffee.

I wanted one, especially going past all the nice cafes and stuff while walking around.

And again with the Just Have One... no
Treat Yo Self.... no
And its ridiculous because i feel like a heroin addict.

But i guess its similar, sort of.
You develop a chemical.. dependency  is possible too strong a term.. lets say routine. And along with that comes the physical routine. And the daily rituals, the programming that this warm mug of goddess will just make you feel better, act better, think better, BE better.

Same thing basically.

Time for sleeps.

None Coffee for 4

Feeling fine still.
I always hit this point where i miss coffee for the routine and the smell. Tea just isnt the same.
I actually enjoy coffee as its own beast, not just a caffeine hit.

Getting off to sleep was a challenge again. Wide awake for an hour. Work tonight as well so im interested to see how I fare.

Big day tomorrow as well. I know id have had a coffee to prepare for that, so thatll be an empty spot too.

Biggest issue at the moment is the stupid cold. Its colder than normal so all i want is a lovely beverage.

Coffee free day 03

I forgot to write earlier.

Fairly smooth sailing today. I made myself a bit crook with a flavoured milk but other  than then that im feeling pretty good. I did break and have two glasses of coke though so that's a bit of a cheat i guess.
I only had two teas though so i think thats fair.

I have noticed though that when its time to sleep at night im not tired at all. Night shift mode engage i guess, because i was laying in bed for at least an hour before j got bored and got up again. Took another 40 minutes to try again.

Im a little scared that without coffee to force myself into the pattern of the day i will remain terribly disjointed in my day to day dealings.

CF30Days

Tricky
Day two

Last night was hard. Irritable, pacing the kichen knowing i had exactly what i felt like i needed right there. That the comfort of routine and what my neural receptors were craving was within 3 minutes worth of effort.
That this was silly, that there was nothing wrong with anything and i should just bloody have a coffee should i so desire one.

I think i had about 6 cups of tea.

Headache is much milder, and merely feels like im wearing a hat when a haircut has been too long due.

Other bodily concerns are harder to track;
I work nights. 8pm until 530am, 4 nights a week - 2 on 2 off 2 on 1 off.
Im basically running like a Typically Scheduled Person's 3am at any given time of day. Its a hard way to operate. Consequently its hard to work out what is out of whack and tired from day to day what have yous and what is the missing kick of coffee.

I already miss the kick.. but its not even a kick when you rely on it. i want the peaks and troughs out so i can regulate my own moods and energy.

Time for a tea i think.

Coffee Free Thirty Days

For no particularly sane reason my wife and i have elected to go coffee sans for now. Im mentally titling this as a 30 dayd challenge because fixed targets are easier to hit than 'for ever'

Im so far 15 hours past when i would normally have had a crappy work coffee and im certainly feeling it.
8 of those hours were asleep.
Five and a half of those hours were the remainder of my shift, by the end of which i was already starting to feel that something was missing.. that receptora were agitated and flavours were not being achieved

So having woken up i have two kinds of headache.
The first is the Too Tired To Operate My Eyeball Properly ache which feels like a dagger through my left eye and exiting about 2 metres behind me
Normally this is achieved by ling sessions in front of a screen, usually gaming til the wee hours but also achievable by cannonballing an entire tv series

The second is the Someone Swapped My Skull For That of a Kitten. Most would call this a head in a vice ache, but i feel like someone has stuffed my grown adult brain into a vessel designed for giant eyes and adorable head tilting.

I do not feel adorable.

Checking in

Damn nearly forgot! Well technically I did, but here I am none the less.  I aint slept so its the same day so it counts, godsdammit.

Checking in

Nothing much to say. Just punching the clock again really. Life goes on, and on.

Reporting in

Nothing much really.  Im 11 days into no coffee, and 7 days into creating  positive habits for myself. Thus far I have done 7 days of exercise, and today is my first day of writing something every day for a week.

Peace.

Ch' ch' ch' ch' cha-

It catches my attention from time to time just how much being a parent changes some odd fundamental mentalities.
Not just the simple things, like how I can no longer eat menindee seedless - only 'geen gups' for me now.
But the raw weight carried by a silence now... anyone with kids knows quiet doesnt just happen. Especially since mine have at various times made with both the snoring and the mignight chatters.
Used to be silence was either wholly welcomed - dipped into with meditative contemplation - or something to rid myself of lest my headspace seek to fill a voided audio landscape with the sussurations of cerebral agita.
These days infrequent as it may be silence is like sex.. with a cactus. Or free bag or money.. made of cheese. it seems alright but then what do you actually do with it.

Currently it also tends to accompany 'free' time.. in which case I tend to waste it away cleaning something and getting distracted by minutae.

Huzzahs.

I do believe a bowl of geen gups might be in order.

whee

i got a +1 on my other blog! the one i wanna keep up more regularly with games reports and my views on gaming and gaming culture. thats cool. means bugger all to anyone except a little extra air in my ego bubble, but ill certainly take it and call it the wins.

thank you internet +1er person. tell more friends so i can keep motivated :D

solspecs

I recently bought a new pair of sunglasses.
i say new though really i have never had any decent ones. all cheapo throwaways since i'm the guy that sits on stuff and then has to pull shrapnel out of his ass.
i have broken many an item.
this is why we can't have nice things.
my care has increased with age.. i think i move slower so as i feel something ready to puncture my ass flesh i can stop and say "no! i will not break thee"

i digress

i have a pair of decent sunglasses these days, and i have found that the main feature of said glasses is indeed not getting migraines on bright days.

however, i appreciate a secondary benefit.
i like clouds.
i also don't want crows feet and since im getting older i need to be mindful of these things.
but mostly i like clouds.

i think we crack along these days doing this, and doing that and don't take the time eto look at the clouds. we sit in offices, we drive home, it's all too glarey.
noone likes a burnt retina.
but, take a second to appreciate a darker big fluffy as is crosses the path of the late afternoon sun as you drive home, and tell me the haloed outline isn't somehow magical.

it is. its quite stunning at times.
mind the brakes, noone wants to buy a random hyundai.

Thursday's Hat

Does anyone havee that thing where you could swear it's Friday but it's actually Thursday? or even Wednesday? sometimes it seems to change as the day goes on..
I'm pretty sure we all have, it seems to be part and parcel of the human experience.

Anyone ever worked out why?
The day gods are shift workers.

It all comes down to the fact the the lords and ladies of the days that go by are as inclined to need sickies, training and days off for the third cousins' weeding as the rest of us.
Yes, it's true.

It's quite simple really, anytime you are wondering why it feels like a Wednesday on Monday morning it's because Jack Monday couldn't be assed getting out of bed after the late late late movie on Sunday night, and someone had to fill in 'til noon. Wednesday showed up 'cause who ever has anything to do on a Wednesday? All the time in the world, god of wednesday has. Plus Wednesday needs the extra next payday.

This explanation may seem a little far fetched at first but it's on the money. It explains so much.
Like why Saturday manages to start off quickly but slow right down by about 11am. She's tried to go hard after hanging out with Friday the night before and just can't quite make it though. After a 1pm nap though she's ready to push on.
Helping out right the way through 'til early morning Sunday in fact, which is why Sunday morning TV programming is awesome, and then denegrates into fishing and motorsports.

Indeed, a little thought on the matter and you'll see the truth of this revelation.

who cares?

i have no damn idea. as far as i can tell, i'm writing this for me, but i'm quite sure i'd like an audience. a rabid readership crying fowl when i miss a days post. i don't really know how to achieve this. not at all.
i guess if i keep plugging away perhaps someone will stumble across this little corner of the net and maybe tell a friend.

then i will harvest them both for their brains... yes. zombies i am.
yes. plural.

...

anyway.
i do believe a critical point in my staying motivated here is that i sometimes get locked on topic or lack thereof. but also it's mostly perspective. as in 'why does anyone want mine'.

i don't think im awesomely original. this is at least half true.
i have that intriguing situation where i have a massive ego thinking the world of myself and my abilities. i believe that deeply.
i also have a horrible sense of worth and poor motivation, meaning i usually flounder about day to day hoping for the clouds to break. this too is a firmly held belief.

in short, i am the talented ego road train being driven by the self esteem midget.
sometimes i get where i'm going and feel silly on the doubt.
other times, the crash is just terrifying.
sometimes he just can't reach the peddles.

hm.

It Begins!

So, as someone who always intends to write, feels a talent for and a joy in writing - I seldom actually do any writing. This is pretty poor form for someone who considers themselves to be at least somewhat intelligent and wholly ridiculous for followers of the logical.

So how to begin?

well in theory this is it. I will be putting to put pen to paper, or at least digit to key so as to train myself. I need to leaern both the importance of consistency, and flow of the thought to the transcribable languange.

I hope this is something that will be good for me.
I hope this to be a regular, enriching experience for myself and anyone else who happens upon it.

We shall see.

As far as topics are concerned.. we'll worry about that later, but a cursory heads up would indicate a general rambling, perhaps one day levelling up to a musing.
Maybe some day hilarious.

Anyway, if you didn't like reading this, then I would suggest you'll find your time better spent elsewhere.

I promise I won't take offence.