Tuesday, March 16, 2010

who cares?

i have no damn idea. as far as i can tell, i'm writing this for me, but i'm quite sure i'd like an audience. a rabid readership crying fowl when i miss a days post. i don't really know how to achieve this. not at all.
i guess if i keep plugging away perhaps someone will stumble across this little corner of the net and maybe tell a friend.

then i will harvest them both for their brains... yes. zombies i am.
yes. plural.

...

anyway.
i do believe a critical point in my staying motivated here is that i sometimes get locked on topic or lack thereof. but also it's mostly perspective. as in 'why does anyone want mine'.

i don't think im awesomely original. this is at least half true.
i have that intriguing situation where i have a massive ego thinking the world of myself and my abilities. i believe that deeply.
i also have a horrible sense of worth and poor motivation, meaning i usually flounder about day to day hoping for the clouds to break. this too is a firmly held belief.

in short, i am the talented ego road train being driven by the self esteem midget.
sometimes i get where i'm going and feel silly on the doubt.
other times, the crash is just terrifying.
sometimes he just can't reach the peddles.

hm.